Until The End

It taps the back of mind like an annoying child trying to get some attension. I ignore it, but like the child keeps coming back. Somethin I have been coming to grips with in the the past year is the end, it has to come, but like most I not ready for it to come. The thought paralized me the first time it really it me hard, I literally could not move! For a while it crippled me. I didnt go out unlesss I needed to stayed in the house and painted did not talk to anyone and kept people at a distance, further than I normally do. 

I still believe in God and believe in his word, his son conccured death so that nowould fear. But I have just been livin tryin to feel anything other than that which sets my mind to fear. No man should have to think about his own death daily, but for some its a day to day process to get over. When I not focused on doing something I drift to daydreams. These are harmless things , but in my mind I find myself in a dark place seeing different ways I could die, normal everyday occurances ending me. 

At a early time in my life I wasnt fearful of this thing, I would a acctually stair at it like "what the hell do you want?" and it would cower and go away. Now its not affraid to look me in the eyes and say Im comin for you. So no the battle insues until the end!